So..... I never post. I'm sorry! I think about a blog post about 110% of every minute of every day! But the truth is I carry HUGE guilt! I feel like if I stop working on images, or working on things around the house, or Working working working, I will feel too guilty! So blogging to me is not work! Its a pleasure to sit here and throw some words out there and hope someone reads it! I just cant live with the guilt!
Except for today. I feel somehow guilt free... I'm almost another year older, I got 5 things "going in the house", and I have lots to tell you, so what the hell...I feel like I can take a minute here and let you know whats been going on in Cupcakes Cavehouse!
First ... lets talk about the Title of this Post. What the crap is Auto Immune protocol? (AI) Well... I am now suffering from some serious pain every day. I always knew from some past MRI tests as a younger person, that they said I'd be suffering some arthritis in my legs and ankles from all my old gymnastics injuries. I was kinda ready for it..... just not ready for it YET. However, up until around the road trip last July, I had not really noticed much unless the weather changed! I would ache up and down my shin and ankle like someone was beating me with a baseball bat! It felt like massive pain from the inside out. But it would go away! I was like the weather vane! ha! Only after the road trip I started having HORRIBLE pain in my hip. All day, and all night. Walking to the grocery store was as painful as falling from 40 stories and landing on one leg! I can barely tolerate the pain.
So here I am trying to be all holistic and good for my body with the food I put in it, and Im swallowing 2 aleve EVERY day... and begging for more. My MRI took 5 months to finally happen, and it was just minutes before I headed out to VA for my great nephews birth in March that I found out it was in fact ARTHRITIS. (and bursitis) And "mild"... as they wrote on my chart. MILD! HOLYCRAP are you KIDDING ME!!!!!!?????? IF that is Mild I have absolutely zero interest into finding out what SERIOUS Arthritis is. Up to that point Sleeping, Walking, Sitting, Standing, or doing generally ANYTHING just caused massive pain,and limping. And limping... well crap, that sends the knees into a downward spiral! The things could barely stand the surgery I had a few years ago, and now with the hip hobbling, the whole tower of Cupcake is off balance and in pain! NO BUENO!
So.............I asked Dr. Parkland what she suggested we do about it. (Insert massive eyeroll here), and her Reply was Medicine. Lots of it. *Sigh. NO thanks.
So then I started researching Paleo and Arthritis. I really thought I had read that it should HELP with that... so why am In this pain? It turns out many people ARE Helped... but that I unfortunately may require a more tweaked, refined Paleo diet to help heal me. As much as I researched, and dug through different diets and sights, it all kept coming back to the same culprits that cause inflammation in our bodies. Most people obviously can handle it, and heal. Mine is not working. So, I started working on my new version of Paleo... the Auto Immune Protocol.
Here is a reminder of Paleo Diet- basically we eat MEAT, NUTS, & VEGGIES, with SOME Fruits. No processed foods. Nothing off the shelves. No crap.
The AI protocol further removes the following foods, which have been known to medical and foodie communities to cause inflammation in our bodies and joints- Eggs, Dairy, Nuts, wine, and Nightshades (potatoes & peppers in my case)
So that leaves me to eat every day- Meat, Veggies and some fruit.
I cant do cheese, eggs, nuts- which include our only indulgences like almond meal brownies and muffins, or almond butter shakes, no tomatoes, no peppers, and no potatoes which I was fond of using as my occasional Cheat. And......drumroll, please... I CANNOT EVEN EAT FRICKING BUTTER! <pin drop.>
I cant eat a damn THING!!!!!!!!!!
So, in my typical Cupcake whiny fashion, I sat here and cried for around 5 days. No, really. I DID. Every day I ate two eggs for breakfast, with an almond butter shake made with almond milk. Its quick, and easy and nutritious! And now............ what the hell can I eat? A chicken leg? WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, after visiting a CHEK Counselor and getting the same advice and a smarmy little "Well, What are you going to do? Be a big girl and in charge of your body, or you can eat whatever the hell you want and hurt. Its UP to you!" comment, I decided to wipe my damn tears up and try this out.
Approximately 10 days later I was MAD, and Pissy, and HUNGRY for something awful, and STILL HOBBLING. I had been ingesting apple cider vinegar every day (which by the way does not taste bad AT ALL) because the counselor said it would help with arthritis, and eating supper for breakfast, lunch and dinner, every day, MORE FRUIT than a carb watcher needs to be, and Skipping sweet potatoes which were my only starchy carby trade off for potatoes since I was STILL dreaming that one day I'd be 125 pounds again. And NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. (especially any weight loss! boo hiss)
I threw a major little tantrum, and bawled some more, and fired my chek counselor saying something whiny like " ITS JUST NOT WORKING I CANT DO THIS".... and gave up.
For about 4 hours. Then I put the bowl I used to sneak a 1/4 cupful of Maple syrup in, into the dishwasher, and I wrote an email to The Paleo mom, hoping she would give me a reply.
The Paleo Mom is a facebook paleo "Friend" that is a Scientist turned stay at home mom who also suffers issues with her auto immune system. I thought if ANYONE might be able to hand me a lifesaver ring she would! And much to my surprise SHE DID!
She answered all my questions and gave me honest answers that went something like this "Sometimes we have to put our health first, and our dreams of weight loss to the side, so we can heal our bodies first. It might take a LONG long time, even years, but eventually, maybe you can lose that weight, and even eat the way you want to again". It gave me hope.
And so............... I've been doing about a 89% good job at eating properly for the last two months or so. I'm not patting myself on the back.... because there MAY or MAY NOT have been a couple of sad days that I pulled my little glass bowl out of the cabinet and put in some maple syrup to soothe a really bad day........ and at least THREE awful days that I drank wine and was PAINFULLY reminded that its a very very bad idea to do that anymore. Not that I was sick to my stomach. Only with the white wine one however, was I MASSIVELY sick to my stomach... but that always used to happen- even way before Paleo. I think it was the hot day, and too many commercials of people drinking glasses of wine that got me thinking it would be ok.. but I cannot handle the sweet whites.. and I paid for it.
But no................. The RED WINE, which is welcomed in Paleo, and in other food communities as a good addition to any diet, its that lovely friend of mine that makes me suddenly feel all YUCKY and gross, and sad and thick the next day now. And add that to these headaches I've been dealing with from the Mold allergy I have or all these trees in my yard allergy... those things combined have left me feeling awful.
So........no more wine for ME. Its not worth the feeling the next day. bleh.
And before I go any further I know know KNOW what you are thinking!!!!! I do! You are thinking..
WHY ON EARTH would I EVER want to eat this freaking oddball way that Cupcake eats, when that means I would never enjoy food again!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its absolutely not true. I love food. I love cooking food and I LOVE eating good yummy food! What I love even more though, is something YOU DO NOT KNOW!
What you do not know is WHAT IT REALLY FEELS LIKE TO BE CLEAN. How amazing and light and tight you feel. How clean and fresh I feel from not being bogged down with crap, and filthy food! And how I KNOW THIS is because.....DRUMROLL............
when I eat the bad crap.............. I feel INSTANTLY like crap.
You just have no concept when you eat the traditional SAD diet (standard amercian diet) of what it feels like to ACTUALLY FEEL YOUR BODY like you are supposed to. I am so in tune with by body SO WELL I know when I have effed up INSTANTLY!! Its crazy! But also awesome. I MISS It when I screw up, and its a solid reminder of how far I have come, and how awesome it is, when your body tells you "Please don't eat that crap again."
Truly, we are not supposed to eat candy, sugar, treats, packaged processed things that came from test tubes in a lab, and our meat should not be filled and stuffed from birth with grains that were created by mad scientists in Food Labs.
This is not how our parents parents ate. It NOT how its always been. GMO food is SO NEW to our lives its just barely older than MY FIRST BORN BABY! We WERE NOT born and bred on this, and its wrong to feed our babies this way.
You would NEVER EVER EVER take a bottle of Round up off the shelf at Wally world, and spray it on a bowl of oatmeal and then feed it to your baby.... would you?
So why ARE YOU?
Anyhow........................... back to my AI protocol.
I was pretty good the last few weeks......... I'd love to say that I am CURED! HAHAHAHA! And in fact I have barely noticed much decrease in pain at all. However I CAN Sleep at night. My hip is not throbbing like a hot pokers stuck in it anymore. And I am not ingesting A SINGLE Pill of any kind- and I WAS trying to overdose on painkillers before. SO there is a little progress.
And the heartburn I was experiencing with butter and dairy foods IS all gone.... unless I made Bob or Emily something with it, and dealt with the suffering. And DON'T even let me get started on the upsetting evening I had when I decided to make something with tomatoes two weeks ago. I was PROMPTLY pulled to reality about nightshades being a no no !!! And paid for it dearly!
But nothing at all prepared me for this morning.
Last night we went out for my birthday dinner. I requested Ruths Chris- because that cheesy stuffed chicken is DA'BOMB baby! And if you have not ever had it, and it SOUNDS yummy to you cheese lovers out there.. I URGE you to get your butt over there and get you some. Yes Indeed. Mmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm Good. Anyhow... that's what I wanted. A cheat birthday dinner with some cheesy chicken, and perhaps some ice cream for dessert. (I have a post about sugar I HAVE To TELL you about sometime soon. Holyhell that was one nightmare I shall never visit again!!!) anyhow........... That was the plan.
We got right into our dinner and I even skipped the wine! Go me! Plain tea it is! And then the dinner came and it was EVERY bit as wonderful as I imagined and when not a bit of skin was left on my plate and my belly was nearly full of that and some mashed potatoes and butter (OH MY) she asked if I wanted a little Birthday Surprise! WELL YES I DO, I replied.. but drew a frown and said " however I cant have cake (as I had received in previous birthday visits) because I am gluten free." And bless her wonderful heart, she said "WHY I HAVE A WHOLE PLATE OF GLUTEN FREE GOODNESS FOR YOU" and I almost fell out of my chair when she whipped this amazing plate of YUMMY in front of me!!!!!!!!!!!
The cake, she assured me, after a visit with the chef was made of only sugar, eggs, vanilla and chocolate! It was like a chunk o fudge! But sadly I was NO longer interested in it, after digging into the pot of berries and cream she laid before me. When she stopped by to ask me how it was, I could barely speak it was SO FREAKING AMAZING!!!!!!!! I have henceforth requested that ANY TIME I was in need of something special THAT I WANTED A VAT OF THIS PLEASE AND THANK YOU, and that wonderful woman, she went back to the kitchen and came back with ANOTHER POT OF HEAVEN IN HER HANDS FOR ME!!!!!!And yes, I did ! I ate two bowls of it, AND the raspberry sorbet which was also swoon worthy but nothing compared to that cream!!!!!!!! And then, we stumbled out into the night, our bellies satisfied and full. Although always in the back of my mind now when I eat outside of my own cave, I am worried about what if gluten got snuck in something, or whether peanuts were involved somehow (they give me a buzz...hehehehe Im a cheap date I know!) so I am always on hyper alert for some kind of reaction- just in case a potty needs to be nearby!
And of course, not surprisingly, within minutes of getting in the car..........I'm a buzz!!!!!!!!! hahahaha! I feel like the top of my head is floaty and spinny and tied to me with a string! hahahaha! but my belly is still ok and happy! If anything worse is going to happen, it will likely rear its ugly head about 1am ... my witching hour, so for now............ I'm excited to go watch a play!
Mister Kat is My ugly wake up call, miraculously, at 5:30 am, and NOT my belly! woot!!!!! WOOT! And.... I have no headache today (likely I suspect because our mysterious weather cap is GONE, and SO IS MY DAMN HEADACHE!!!,) and I throw my legs out of bed and attempt to get up and am SLAMMED BY PAIN!
HOLYHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can barely move my joints. I feel like a every single joint, including my fingers, are swollen and encased in concrete filled with pain! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!
I'm having a reaction of EPIC proportions alrighty. I am astounded. I did not realize how PAINFREE I WAS all those days, til I woke up this morning feeling like I need a steroid IV Drip just to feed my freaking cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW. what an experiment in Auto Immune reactions I am today!
I AM Now a believer. WOW. just WOW!!!!!!!!!
Its now 3:30 pm and Id love to say I'm feeling better.... I got up and did my shoot, which was fun and zipping around after Lauren today took my mind off it, and filled me with some much welcomed adrenaline...............but OMG I am so so so so so stiff. And fatigued and just so unable to move. For reals. This is a shocking wake up call.
That's all I have to say. FOOD is such a healer!!!!!!!!!!!! However not fast enough.. LOL because all I"ve been doing today is trying to figure out how fast this pain will leave, and my old "pain" to come back! hahahahah! Talk about the grass is greener! Oh MY!
So...........thats what has been happening! Before THIS adventure with AI Started, I had a WHOLE out of body experience with Sugar... that little nasty demon from hell. He and I were in a VERY toxic tango that started last summer and lasted through March... and I am HERE to tell you I AM NOW OFFICIALLY OVER YOU DEMON SUGAR! You Will not invade my life again. SO THERE.
And when I have a minute.............. I plan on posting that whole drama for your reading enjoyment because I am SURE you are dying to know all about it. HAHAHAHA! But, right now I need to go fold this laundry piled up on my table....... Cry for me. If you arelly know me, You KNOW how much I love folding laundry ( I DO it is so relaxing and I love the smell of it...)..... and right now, it hurts so bad!